Replace Corporate Bullsh*t with Give a Sh*t

On September 29th, UK Prime Minister Andy Burnham delivered his first conference speech, setting out his mission for the future of Britain. And something remarkable happened:

He cried.

A man on stage cried.

A man on stage, who is also the Prime Minister, cried.

In the great tradition of humans everywhere, it’s all anyone could talk about. The media zoomed in on him, wiping his eyes and welling up, in one of the longest pauses I’ve seen in a major speech for a while.

I know many speaker coaches, like me, found it all rather empowering, but does this mean we can all start crying in business presentations now?

I’ve often felt shame about crying at work. There have been moments when I’ve struggled to hold back tears, or to contain other emotions, and afterwards I’ve left feeling silly, exposed, or unprofessional. In high-stakes situations, that pressure can build until the emotion starts to take over the presentation itself. And if we’re honest, most of us can probably think of a time when our passion was received as aggression.

So, in an effort to be taken seriously and sound “professional”, presentations often lose their expression. They become controlled, careful, and emotionally flat.

That's the paradox: In the fear of appearing so emotionally expressive, you won’t be taken seriously; you choose expressionless and end up not being taken seriously.

In Andy Burnham’s case, the tears were in context and added only more authenticity to a speech that deserved every bit of it: a masterclass in rallying the troops, with a clear mission and a full range of emotion. Frustration, passion, hope, and, of course, grief.

So, let's talk about expression. And why it’s never been easier to stand out as a presenter in business, because of one thing: professionalism. Or rather, everyone else’s.

Why tone wins

I’ve spent the last couple of weeks coaching board presentations alongside Voice Coach Nic Redman, one of the Presenter Coach Expert team. Nic focuses on the physical delivery of a talk, and when it comes to voice, expression is everything.

When our words and our tone don't match, we believe the tone. Psychologist Albert Mehrabian showed this back in 1967, and it's why you can tell how a friend feels from the way they say 'hello'. You are likely to believe tone 5 times more than words alone. I always giggle at this point, because I can tell my husband is pissed off with me from the tone of his breath!

We’re tuned in to tone because it tells us how someone feels and, more importantly, whether they’re being honest. And when they’re not, we sniff it out.

That’s why Burnham’s tears were believed. He’s expressive throughout this talk. Not one word feels misplaced, dishonest, over-presented, or robotic.

And the reason is simple: he gives a shit.

You can hear it in every line. It’s a magnetic talk, from a magnetic leader.

So if emotion is this powerful, it must be easy to bring it into the boardroom right?

Nope.

The professionalism trap

Coaching people to present to senior leaders is revealing. Their fear of the audience is often so great that the default setting becomes “professionalism”. Or as I like to call it, corporate bullshit.

The thought process goes like this: say the words, get through it, and be professional. And whatever you do, don’t let them see how much you care. Caring feels risky. What if you look silly? What if they don’t take you seriously 

The result: a tense, flat, monotonous delivery.

In one word: forgettable.

Here’s the kicker. Senior leaders and board members sit through presentations all day, every day. And they’re seeing the same thing over and over. Tense. Flat. Forgettable.

 Which means expression, even the tiniest amount, will actually make yours the one they remember.

“I’m not an actor”

In our coaching, Nic and I asked executives to release the tension in their neck, shoulders and face, because release makes room for expression. Then we invite the feeling in: “let the word carry the emotion of it.”

Without fail, there’s an uncomfortable giggle. Then the swift dismissal: “I’m not an actor.”

It always makes me wonder if expression has become so unfamiliar at work that we think we need drama school to show we care? But then I think it’s just “unfamiliar” which is why it feels like acting. But when it is your project, and you really want people to believe in it – there really is only one thing for it. You have to find the way you give a shit.

My tip: give a shit, then let go

 Expression = give a shit + tension release.  

You need both.

Caring with a clenched jaw comes out strangled. A relaxed body with nothing behind it comes out bland. Put them together and the expression takes care of itself. This is how Andy Burnham presented his hour-long talk.

Before your next board presentation:

1. Find your reason to care. Ask yourself: why does this matter to me? How do I want the audience to feel? Meet them there.

2. Release the tension. Nic would say this is key, and she has a great warm-up you can follow here. For a quick reset, roll and drop your shoulders, unclench your jaw, soften your face, and breathe low into your belly. Tension is the lid that keeps the caring in, so the more you can release, the more naturally your expression can come through.

3. Let the words land. Pick the two or three words that matter most. Let yourself feel them as you say them, and think about how you want the audience to feel too. When you allow the feeling that is already there to come through, it gives the audience permission to feel it as well.

You probably won’t cry in front of the board. But when you take the time to really care and release, they’ll hear that you mean it. And in a day full of forgettable presentations, that’s what they’ll remember.

So replace corporate bullshit with give a shit. 

Nic and I dug into this on this month’s Sounding Board. More on that in coming weeks. Make sure you are signed up for the next one where we will be getting in to “Trusted Communication” with Dr Amna Khan,PhD, Consumer and Behaviour Expert.