Say It Out Loud

 The simplest way to stay calm when the stakes are high.

Someone asks you a question you were not expecting. The room goes quiet. Everyone turns to look at you.

What happens in the next four seconds matters far more than most of us admit.

The moments that count

By “High-stakes communication” we mean any moment where a decision has to be made, an answer has to be given, an objection has to be handled, or a strategy has to be delivered.

When you are running a business, those moments arrive every single day. Handling someone on your senior leadership team. Steadying a team member who is wobbling. Delivering a set of numbers nobody wanted. Walking into a board meeting.

Yes, you want to be vulnerable. Yes, you want to be transparent. And your team are still looking to you to steer the ship.

So there is a feeling, fair or not, that you ought to have the answers. The adrenaline surges. You have to be calm under pressure. And what comes out of your mouth could shape the next quarter. Sometimes the next year.

Nobody is born with this

People often ask me how to handle those situations.

So look at the leaders who seem unshakeable in them. Very few were born with that level of skill. They built it. They went through it and failed. Then they went through it and got it right. They put themselves in the room often enough that the room stopped frightening them.

Here is the good news. You can learn it too.

Here is the tricky news. You can only learn it if you focus on it.

What your brain is actually doing

Someone asks you a difficult question, or one you were not expecting. In that instant your brain has to handle five things at once.

1. The surprise, which releases adrenaline and cortisol.
2. Noticing that surge, and deciding what to do with it.
3. Finding words that say the right thing in this moment.
4. Reading the room and managing the feeling in it.
5. Actually getting the words out of your mouth.

That is a lot of decisions for a few seconds' work.

If you have done no preparation, it usually goes one of two ways.

You start talking and think out loud as you go. High risk.

Or you freeze. Your brain stops and nothing arrives.

Both tell the person listening exactly the same thing. They don't really know what they're talking about. They haven't got this.

The long game wins the short moment

There is a long-term solution and a short-term solution to almost everything. Here, the long-term work is what rescues you in the moment.

Your brain needs material it can already call on. It also needs to have been through the adrenaline enough times to recognise the feeling as normal.

That is what preparation actually buys you. Fewer decisions when it counts.

So say it out loud

One of our lead trainers, Helen Brown, has a technique she uses in all of these situations. We now deploy it in a dozen different ways. It is beautifully simple.

Say it out loud.

Helen spent years in broadcasting, where saying it out loud solves a multitude of problems. Writing a script for a radio presenter? Say it out loud before it goes anywhere near them, and you hear straight away whether it works. Then the presenter says it out loud too, because that is how you find out what it feels like in your mouth.

Here is Helen:

“Saying it out loud has helped me a number of times. When you're going into a live situation on the radio, that's a high-stakes environment. You've got to think on your feet. That can be set pieces, where we know exactly what the script is, right through to being in the moment where you're dealing with a politician who's going AWOL. Knowing some of the things you want to say, and how they're going to work, will stand you in good stead when things go wrong.”

What Japanese train drivers know

If you have read James Clear's Atomic Habits, you will know the story of the Japanese rail network.

Accidents and errors dropped significantly when they brought in a system called “Point and Call”. Staff say out loud what they are doing as they do it. “Doors closed.” “Doors locked.”

Speaking the action brings it into your consciousness, and the brain holds onto it far better.

I do my own version every morning. You will find me on my doorstep saying “door locked”, so that I am not halfway down the street questioning myself.

What rehearsal really means

When I talk to people about rehearsal, I can see it doesn't quite land. So let me be plain about it.

Stand in front of a mirror. Sit in front of your laptop. Use the car on the way in. Anywhere that feels appropriate. Then say the words out loud.

For a leader, there are three things worth saying out loud on repeat.

1. The business vision. This one is essential. Recite it until it is second nature. Then, whenever a question lands that you are unsure about, you can always draw your answer back to the vision.
2. The key message for the week. The one or two things you want the business to understand right now. There is no harm in memorising it. Say it out loud enough times and it simply falls out of you when the moment comes.
3. A few stock phrases. These buy you a second and let your brain catch up.

“Let me understand what it is you want me to hear.”

“Can you explain what you mean by that?”

“That's really interesting that you say that. Here's what I want you to remember…” and then you pull them back to the vision.

On sounding repetitive

People worry that stock phrases make them boring. Have a few you rotate if that helps. But there is nothing to be afraid of here.

Barack Obama was famous for reducing the number of decisions he made in a day, right down to wearing more or less the same suit. He also had a stock phrase he used constantly. “Let me be clear.”

It’s so inconic that Time Magazine put together four minutes of him saying it. Watch that here.

Where to start

You prepare for the high-stakes moment by practising a few lines and a few key ideas long before you need them.

Then, when the adrenaline arrives, muscle memory does most of the work. Your brain has fewer steps to climb. And you get to sound like the leader you already are.

Start with the vision. Say it out loud. Today.