The Flip Side of Communication: Why Listening is Your Superpower

You know those moments when someone comes to you, and it's obvious they have something important they want to say?

It might be that a team member comes to you saying they want to shift roles, go after a promotion, or even leave altogether. It's in those moments that the other half of communication comes in. Not the speaking part, the listening.

I talk a lot about how to be a great speaker. But being a great listener? That’s just as important. It might be your biggest communication superpower.

Listening When You're a Fixer
Let’s be honest, listening is hard work, especially if you’re someone who likes to fix things. If your instinct is to jump in with answers, I see you. I come from a long line of interrupters (myself included).

The thing is, listening isn’t just about being quiet. It’s about creating space. And it’s about showing someone they’ve really been heard.

Three Ways to Be a Better Listener

1. Stay Quiet (Genuinely Quiet)
This sounds obvious, but it’s surprisingly difficult. Proper listening means staying present. Pay attention to how the other person is speaking. Are they focused on how something feels? Are they visualising things? Are they coming at it with logic and structure? These clues help you understand what they care about and how they think.

And when they finish? Don’t rush in. Let there be a moment. Silence is powerful. It gives people time to keep going, to get to what they really mean.

2. Acknowledge What You’ve Heard
This step is the one most people skip. It’s easy to think, “Right, I’ve listened, now here’s what I think.” But before you speak, take a second to reflect back what you’ve heard.

You might say something like, “Sounds like you’re wanting a bit more flexibility in your day, is that right?” It doesn’t have to be word-for-word, but showing someone that you got it helps them feel valued. It builds trust.

I say, “So what I’m hearing is…” a lot in coaching sessions. My clients take the mick a bit, but that phrase works. It gives someone the chance to clarify or go deeper. And it shows you’re paying attention.

3. Ask the Right Question
A well-timed question can open up the whole conversation. My favourite one is: “What’s going through your mind right now?”

I used it the other week after a family Parkrun. One of my relatives, who hadn’t been feeling great, made it across the finish line, and I could see they were a bit wobbly.

Instead of asking, “How are you?” I asked, “What’s going through your mind right now?” They paused and said, “I’m really glad I did it.” That gave me a much clearer idea of how to support them.

So, take this as your reminder that listening isn’t just a soft skill. It’s a serious leadership strength.

So here’s your checklist:

Stay quiet and really pay attention.
Reflect back what you’ve heard before jumping in.
Ask thoughtful questions that invite honesty and depth.
And if you only remember one thing, let it be this question: “What’s going through your mind right now?” Try it with your team, your clients, your friends; it might just change the conversation.

Here’s to better conversations, better connections, and the power of listening.